Photo: Photo within a photo, both taken at the beautiful (and allegedly haunted) MIT Endicott House in Dedham, Massachusetts. The perfect place for a writing retreat.

I had every intention of posting my serial story episode last week. So many good intentions… But the thing is, I was wearing my leader hat last week. I haven’t figured out how to fashionably (or sanely) wear two hats at once.

I traveled to Massachusetts last week to run the Guild’s annual Fall Retreat. It was a whirlwind of seeing friends, hosting events, sweating the details, and otherwise being a leader. I event spent a little time with a wonderful fellow nonprofit leader friend of mine, and shared a room with other new Executive Directors in the art space for a little bit. It’s always weird to be back in Massachusetts: spending so much time there has made me all too familiar with the good and the bad and the ugly, but there is aways a touch of nostalgia when I visit and even a warm feeling when I’m with dear friends. That being said, there were plenty of reminders that being Black in Massachusetts is stressful and uncomfortable and I am very glad to be back in Maryland.

The trouble with being in a sustained leading mode is that it’s hard to turn my brain to the creative. I told my husband today that I “haven’t written in weeks,” but then I corrected myself: I haven’t written in a week. It’s funny that it feels longer, though, and it’s been weighing me down. It didn’t used to be that way–I could go weeks without writing and not feel it. But now that I’ve spent a year dedicating significantly more of my time to writing, I feel a physical pressure when I don’t write for a while. Unfortunately stretches like this also come with a deep impatience and self-flogging: I’m not creating fast enough, I’m not getting anywhere, I’ll never meet my creative goals because I am spending my energy in other places. It’s the sort of thing that chases me in my subconsciousness and catches me at 2am.

I have to slowly, slowly crawl my way out of it.

I’m getting somewhere.

I’ll meet my writing goals.

Every day, I get a little closer.

Leading is not writing. I know this. Writing is not leading. I know this, too. If I only did one of these things, I’d probably be farther along and life would be a lot simpler. Trouble is, I can’t imagine my life without the Guild and I certainly can’t imagine myself without writing. I choose both and therefore I choose intermitent (yet ever forward) progress for both. That means I also choose to be patient and kind to myself, even as I’m also persistent.

I’m not saying that these are always easy or comfortable choices. They are just the choices I’m making.

The bottom line is: I will have a serial episode for you on Tuesday. I have to write it and I want to write it well. Thanks for your patience with me. And I will have recorded episodes for Patreon next week, too, which I know will take a long time to grow. Onward and onward. Perhaps it’s good to prove that I can miss a week for good reasons and not melt. It’ll be ok.

While I’m here:

I’m teaching a single-session class for Pioneer Valley Writers’ Workshop in December and I’d love to see you there! I’ve got some 2025 classes on the calendar with other places, too! When they make their announcements, I’ll put links here.

The Guild is hosting AMAZING author Valerie Valdes next week to talk about character voice and dialogue. You should check it out.

PS: Earlier this year, I bought the Guild Instax cameras for another event and I sincerely think it’s one of the best possible investments we’ve made for the Guild so far. The cameras are easy to use and so much fun. They take PERFECT pictures for little mini writing prompts. Set folk loose in a haunted mansion with a bunch of Instax cameras and the result are, frankly, magical. Get you one or two and give them to your writing friends!